bachelor in paradise 1

This week’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise was all about Caila being the worst, Ashley being embarrassing, and Brett loving lamp.

This ep was brimming with drams, and we loved it.

We open with Ashley crying (per the ushje), and her saying that Jared being with Caila is the worst thing ever. I think she meant for herself, but I think Jared being with Caila would be the worst thing ever for him. Because she’s horrible.

Ashley and Jared have the literal same conversation they have everyday, and of course, the outcome is the same. Ashley is obsessed, and Jared is totes ovs. After trying to reason with Ashley, Jared returns to Caila (ugh) to tell her that he really only wants to be with her. All while Ashley’s sobs are clearly audible in the background. I love this show.

Daniel was the only wildcard rose for the night, so that meant all the floating girls had to bribe him with cake, kisses, and crying? The Twins ended up getting his rose, and Sarah went home for the third time on a Bachelor show (sad bears!).

This also means that Ashley is sent home. But as she’s ugly crying her way home in the SUV, she tells the driver to stop the car, and she returns back to Paradise to ask the group if it’s ~kewl~ if she stays. Ashley was all, check Y or N, and the cast was like, M? They ended up agreeing to her second third shot, and she got to cry hang around one more night. (Much to Caila’s chagrin.)

Two newcomers joined us in Paradise, who literally no one recognized. Brett (with lamp in hand … again) from Andi’s season. And … what was his name? Cade? Cole? Carl? Yeah, Carl … also from Andi’s season. Or, wait, was it Kaitlyn’s? Or?

And apparently everyone thinks Brett is hot except me.

“Brett came in with a lamp, and Caila flipped the switch on Jared” – Evan

Brett decides to take Caila on his double date with Carl and one of The Twins. Caila confirms that she is the literal WORST by flip flopping back and forth between going and not going on the date.

Brett: Wanna go on this date, or nah?

Caila: Yah.

Brett: Cool.

Caila: Wait. No.

Brett: Ok?

Caila: Just kidding I’ll go.

Caila: I’m not going.

Caila: I’m going.

Caila: Not going.

Caila: Going.

Caila: Not going.

Brett: 

Caila: 

Audience: 

Chris Harrison: 

Barack Obama: 

Caila: Ok. Fine. I’ll go.

She was basically me deciding whether or not I’m going to the gym. LOLJK that’s an always “no.” The date was kind of ratchet, and I’m pretty sure Colby and the Twin literally had sex? and Caila ends up telling Brett that she is more into Jared and is all like, thanks for picking me but byeeeee.

During the double date, Ashley was trying (as we all do) to manipulate her pseudo ex into liking her again. The cast members return from their date, and Caila tells Jared that she should have stayed. They make out, and Ashley sobs.

Some other guy I don’t know or find attractive shows up and takes one of The Twins on yet another horse date. Yawn.

Lace and Grant go for a couple’s massage, and Lace literally talks the entire time. Um, rude. Isn’t this supposed to be relaxing?

Grace then heads to the hot tub, and the couple sips champs and giggles. Then the first “I love you” of the season pops up. Grant confirms that he really does not have standards because he just professed his love to Lace.

Izzy and Vinny are having a v serious conversation, and she keeps reiterating that she has “doubts,” which were apparently exacerbated when the lamp man walked in. Him? Really?

Izzy sleeps in until like 3 pm., and Vinny walks over to confront until … to be continued.

What was your fave moment from this Bachelor in Paradise ep?

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